Getting Honest With What's Not Working

I'll turn 40 this summer and although there is no magic in the year you turn 40, at the same time it seems like it's one of those milestone years where I'm beginning to ponder my life even more than normal.

I'm thinking about the next chapter of my life, what the next 20 years (assuming I have the blessing of still being here) could look like. What do I want to do with it? How do I want to dedicate my time and to what? How do I want to serve and contribute? What do I want my life's work to be?

You know, just simple easy to answer questions like those😂

I've started making some big changes after really getting honest with what isn't working in my life and hence, the premise of this letter to you today.

Although there are things in my life that are working and going well, there's something within me that won't let me sit idle on just those. A craving for more growth and progress, a craving for experiencing more joy, gratitude and depth, and a craving for living more fully in health, wealth and happiness.

All of this had led me to:

Getting Honest With What's Not Working

We can lie to our social media following, lie to our co-workers, lie to our family, but the one person we can never escape lying to is ourselves. There's that part of us that always knows the truth and what is right.

I'd been lying to myself for years about how one day I would stop drinking and get sober, and although I had small periods of abstinence, I'd end up back to drinking regularly and many times daily. I was never a raging alcoholic, but I struggled most of my adult life with the feeling of wanting to remove it from my life entirely and going back to using it as an escape.

It was easy to justify why it wasn't a problem, 1-2 drinks a day, some days not drinking, other times more on weekends, definitely more on vacation and other times stopping for a couple weeks or a month. Tons of people drink 1-2 drinks a day, it's normal isn't it? I'd tell myself all sorts of lies.

I'd look at people I knew that were successful and knew that they drank regularly so that became a justification. My family all drink lots so that became a justification.

But it always led back to the same place -- me knowing that something needed to change and I was unhappy with myself and how things were going in this area.

I'm happy to report as of Jan 19th I'm three months sober and never going back.

This really kickstarted other changes in my life too, mostly around health so far.

I've also began a personal challenge to get off coffee and replace it with tea

Speaking of lying, I'd be lying if I told you this one was going perfectly well - it hasn't. But I've made a massive improvement from where I was. I used to drink 2-3 cups of coffee a day and now since over a month ago I've only had 6 cups total.

In the past when I would drink coffee regularly, my hands would be shaky after even a cup or two, often I can feel an anxious type feeling in the middle of my chest and overall I just know it's not working for me in my life.

So I'm experimenting with switching to tea, green and black. Then my plan is go down to just green tea, and then experiment with no caffeine at all for a month to see what occurs -- will have to keep you posted on that one.

There are some other health things I'm doing that I'll share with you another time, but these are the biggest two in the areas of health that aren't working for me.

Getting serious about the next chapter of my career

I've been incredibly fortunate and blessed in my life, specifically my career and business life. Yes I worked hard and gave up a lot to get where we are and also have had incredible blessings of attracting the right people into my life and business to create what we have today. It's given us the most incredible amounts of freedom we could imagine.

That being said, that freedom has been a double edged sword for me -- I've been living semi-retired for the past 5 years and it has been great in many ways, yet I've noticed the call more and more to do something more with my life, to contribute greater. To make a bigger impact and to teach and share through writing, speaking and coaching so I can serve as many people as possible with the time I have left.

It's been an internal battle because I LOVE the personal freedom we have and knowing how much I sacrificed in my business life to build it where it is, part of my fears I'd have to do that all over again and it's not something I'm willing to do. Yet at the same time, I've come to know that the way I built my first business is not the way I need to build my future endeavours. It's an internal battle I've been shifting and overcoming.

So - I guess what I'm saying to you is I've realized that I've been lacking feeling I’m contributing enough and using the gifts I've been given in the way I can, holding them back isn't working anymore so I'm changing that.

There's what's happening within me and changes I'm making to things that are no longer working in my life. I've got a list of other things that can all be improved too, this is where I'm starting though.

If you've read this far, I hope this has helped you in some way contemplate what's no longer working in your life and maybe provided some inspiration to begin shifting them, whatever they may be.

We're all human, we all struggle and have our own demons and battles we fight and at the same time, we're all divine and have the power within us to change ourselves and in turn, change our lives.

With love,

Ben